When Co-workers do things like ask about weekend plans, chat about non-work topics, eat lunch in the same room, they are–subconsciously–reaffirming that they are part of a cooperative (or, minimally, non-antagonistic) social group.
The other primates cement social bonds by grooming each other; we do it by making small talk.
If they solicit your participation in these rituals, and you repeatedly refuse those bids, you are marking yourself out as, at best, an outsider to the group, and thus potentially antagonistic.
This is all happening on the monkey-brain level; they have no idea what they’re doing or how they are interpreting your response, so there’s no way to clear up the misunderstanding.
To the ape sleeping in your co-worker’s DNA, either you are part of the grooming circle, or you are an outsider who, for all it knows, may be coming to steal all the bananas.
Even if you would prefer not to socialize with your co-workers, it’s generally worth it to set aside 5 minutes a couple times a week for phatic communication. You don’t have to answer your co-workers’ affiliative signals every time, but it’s less trouble in the long run if you respond to a few of them.
if you are the type of person who really just wants to be left alone to do their work in quiet: it is actually easier to achieve this as part of the in-group. when you enter a new space, in this case, a job, make it your GOAL to make everyone Know Who You Are. introduce yourself to everyone you meet. literally everyone. “hi I’m Jack I’m New.” this helps burst the awkward bubble. you are now one of the monkeys.
at some point, either in response to an invitation, or just in the natural course of conversation, you can add in that you are a “quiet type” who “needs their silence” or what have you. customize to your personal needs. i find it helpful to imagine a well dressed elderly woman describing the sort of peace she needs to manifest.
roughly once a week if you see a group of people chatting, engage with them. keep it pleasant. it can be superficial. word will travel that you are Nice and Quiet and Not The Chatty Type protecting you from group lunches etc. if you have an office with a door that you keep closed a lot, putting up any kind of decor will also send positive signals.
humans are monkeys! for better or worse!
If you struggle a lot with what to say while chatting, the key is asking questions. People LOVE being asked questions. Provide a small comment on the answer then ask follow-up questions. Do your best to remember key answers others give you (e.g., if they’re going to a concert over the weekend or if they have a romantic partner, kids, pets) and ask follow-up questions about those answers later. This will make you seem Nice and Thoughtful. It also helps you deflect answers by minimally commenting on yourself before launching it back to them without seeming standoffish or cold-shouldered.
Example questions:
Did you do anything fun over the weekend? That sounds so nice! I had a pretty relaxed weekend myself, just [hobby] and a few errands.
Any plans for the upcoming weekend? [If yes] That sounds so fun! Are you excited? Going with anyone else? [If no] Same here, I can’t wait to just relax at home! Any other fun plans coming up?
[Follow-up]: How was [event/hobby] over the weekend?
How’s your [spouse/partner/kid/bestie] doing? Good to hear they’re doing well! What have they been up to recently? Still liking their job / doing [hobby] / doing well in school?
Have you been doing anything new in [hobby] lately? Oh, that sounds so cool, do you have any pictures?
Read any good books lately?
Watched any good shows/movies lately? I don’t know if I’ll have time to watch that myself, but it sounds interesting. What do you like about it? [Note: this really hits if you don’t care about spoilers. People love sharing enthusiastic spoilers. React shocked/excited then ask more.]
Remember, it’s about being polite. Being friendly is not being friends.
it’s killing me that there are versions of that “no kink kinktober” post that fail to mention it was specifically for caitvi (yes, the rich cop and the impoverished petty criminal from arcane), thereby elevating the baffling hilarity of the “all power-based coercion must be explicitly roleplay” rule into stratosphere
“Just. Just look at this guy. He’s already so big and so mad. He’s going to be even more big and even more mad if someone knocks him up and he’s going to make it everyone’s problem, and he’s capable of making himself a big problem for a lot of people. It’s the middle of the 5 million year war and the Decepticons are more afraid of 20 tons of cranky warlord with morning sickness than of the enemy. The Autobots don’t know what to do. The humans are getting a whole new education. It’s a nightmare for everyone. Or it’s peacetime and the peace progress and his post-war moral soul-searching just got a whole lot more complicated. Either way, no matter who did it - his deviously treacherous second in command, his loyal and possibly psychic third in command, his life-long Autobot nemesis/ex-boyfriend, his meteor-surfing co-captain, Tarn - there’s going to be big drama.
Alternatively, it’s Transformers One and he is a precious cinnamon roll who got his heart broken by everyone he trusted and now we can make it worse and make him even sadder!
Alternatively alternatively it’s Bayverse and he might already have been knocked up before, we don’t know where those hatchlings came from.
Basically what I’m saying is that there are infinite flavors of Pregatron and all of them are peak drama because that’s how he rolls. Also you get to call him Pregatron which is always a win.”
“He’s got birthing hips and a desire to fuel the decepticon cause.”
[Luo Binghe]
“I have no desire to see him pregnant I am merely doing this out of the goodness of my heart because I know he would want to be. You know that "I will defy biology and get you pregnant” quote? In his case it would be “I will defy biology and get pregnant”. And considering the world he lives in he could do it too.“
"I’d love to impregnate him, but I’d get more joy out of him being impregnated by Shen Qingqiu (his husband).
Reasons lbh should be pregnant
I want him to
Anyone of any gender can be pregnant but lbh has some great gender fuckery in svsss and being pregnant would fit great into that. He is referred to as maiden-hearted and given the nickname bingmei (little sister) by his husband. He loves to cook and clean and generally is a lot happier acting as a wife (except for sex). He would lean so hard into being pregnant I don’t think anyone could do it better. He would literally be glowing.
Cute little bingmei with a big belly and the world’s most perfect curls….
In order to even get pregnant, lbh would go out of his way to make it happen via some sort of magic plant sex pollen/curse/etc. I need to see how he makes it happen.”
“He wants to be a wife and bear his teacher/husband’s child so badly. He lives in dream of the day he will finally get to bottom.”
“He canonically wants a period and honey he won’t when he learns about the alternative (pregnancy).”
“You guys don’t understand how badly Luo Binghe needs this. Due to certain circumstances, Luo Binghe’s birth mother threw him into a frozen river to save his life. She herself then died, and his father was chained under a mountain. He was rescued from the river by a fisherman, but he grew up an orphan on the streets, abused by everyone, until a kind washerwoman took him in. However, she was so run-down from working to support him that she died, too. When he’s still a child, he becomes a disciple of a prominent cultivation sect, but is consistently bullied and abused by his peers and his master/teacher alike. In the "original novel,” before Shen Yuan transmigrates into it as Luo Binghe’s shizun, Luo Binghe is thrown into the Endless Abyss, becoming an evil person, hurting everyone who previously hurt him tenfold, and even harming innocents, continuing the cycle of abuse. After Shen Yuan transmigrates into Shen Qingqiu when Luo Binghe is fourteen, in this version of the story, Luo Binghe’s shizun treats him with kindness and he falls in love with him. But due to unavoidable circumstances, Shen Qingqiu still throws Luo Binghe into the Endless Abyss, forcing him to accept his demonic heritage, and Luo Binghe is left heartbroken and angry, not understanding why his beloved shizun would do such a thing, but he loves him still. At the end of SVSSS, Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu have reconciled and gotten married, and Luo Binghe’s crimes are much less than they were in the original version of the story. The cycle of abuse is ended. But Binghe still retains the scars, and has still committed crimes. A child would be the perfect way to heal him, and to end the cycle of abuse entirely. It would be beautiful. Please vote for him to end the cycle of abuse.“
VOTE LUO BINGHE HE WOULD WANT SHIZUN TO GET HIM PREGNANT ‼️‼️‼️
